Now's the time.

I have had an interesting relationship to ‘visibility’ in my life. By that I mean allowing myself to be seen, attention and the garnering of it.

I had a very expressive, vivacious, colourful, confident older sister who unapologetically lapped up being the centre of attention. Whether she was performing a choreographed dance to the adults, telling a story to friends, or singing songs with strangers, she would invite it all.

Me, on the other hand, I felt uncomfortable with attention. It made me feel under pressure to deliver enough value to warrant the attention. That pressure made me feel self-conscious, that self-consciousness made me feel anxious, and that anxiousness made me want to hide.

As I entered my adulthood, I realised that for me to succeed, with my particular set of skills and desires, I would have to step into the frame. First with a door-to-door sales job, then valuing houses, and eventually running workshops and speaking on stages. About as visible as you could get, right? Or was it?

What I actually learnt is how to perform, how to project someone forward that I thought was valuable enough to deserve the attention.

What I have since learnt is this brought me a version of success that was more true to the character I performed than the person I really was.

I am at an interesting junction in my life right now, whereby I am being asked to be more visible again, and I noticed some of those old reflexes kicking in. However, I am challenging myself to repattern them. The way I am doing that is by changing the frame from top down to bottom up.

What I mean by that is rather than thinking: What will be valuable to present? What will be liked? What will help me to look good? Conceiving of something and then performing that concept.

I am asking myself: What feels most alive in my body? Connecting to that feeling and following its expression.

It has become apparent to me that we are called to reveal ourselves. That doesn’t mean we all have to take to social media and start sharing videos, or to head to the nearest open mic night. It might mean that. But more crucially, in our day-to-day lives, in our friendships, our relationships, in our work.

Without this true visibility, we can’t be found.

Then we can be left wondering why life has not come for us in the ways that our heart desires.

It’s time for bold self-expression, to stand behind ourselves, backing our truth, rather than in front of ourselves, hiding it and curating it into the shape of something parseable, safe and watered down.

The time is now.

Go shine.

Peace and love

Alex